wing ponder

Jun. 15th, 2025 11:58 pm
kossai: masculine form of kossai (Default)
[personal profile] kossai
crosspost from tumblr , several days late - originally june 10 .

just think about wings again ... alongside problems of cost , size , and practicality , not even sure if costume wings would feel right . did have some as kid , but ... 

so , mien and seeming interconnect with each other , and have to deliberately try hard and focus to move either one independently - without that , pretty much in sync to each other . but that really only go for natural body parts ... wings of mien can move independently , for example , because there exist no equivalent wings on seeming to sync up with . 

remember feel great when wear costume wings because people could finally see that have any , but also vaguely remember not really feel right . stiff wires and fabric that itch to touch , elastic straps around shoulders - think real wings try to conform to these positions , but never comfortable that way , and just highlight that still no one see real wings . 

and then , of course , would get too big to fit in those little wings , and also " too old " for wings to be socially acceptable . not actually wear any sort of costume wings since then .

dreamwidth addendum :

not to mention , with shame and pain , would become much harder through years to actually feel wings to start with . think there is some runaway hope in mind that costume wings might be able to make that better , but honestly doubt . this is about trauma , feelings , and frustrations .

anyway ...

Jun. 15th, 2025 11:29 pm
kossai: masculine form of kossai (Default)
[personal profile] kossai
not like expect that forum to just disappear with literally no warning , so kossai did not mirror very much - not that there was much to mirror to start with , but still .

did mirror this post about fairytok , otherwise mostly things which already say before in some form , in hope to start discussions with others - how kossai define and experience mien and seeming , how faeriehood is intrinsic to all parts of identity , not necessarily new stuff . probably only thing which never really say elsewhere was some of little childhood experiences , which ... not really hard to rewrite , if so choose .

know other folks write more substantially , though . really hope forum copy was not only copy , because most parts of forum lock behind login wall - even if someone theoretically run forum through archival , that login wall would be lost .

oh . great .

Jun. 15th, 2025 08:48 pm
kossai: masculine form of kossai (Default)
[personal profile] kossai
kossai check in on physical nonhuman forum usually once per day , maybe little more - not much activity , like say before , but still nice to have somewhere to put some of these discussions that know for sure will not be hit by some of usual tumblr bullshit .

visit today end in failure , as display message that board no longer exist . great ! just fucking fantastic ! can not use spaces on discord , so guess only way to really reach out to substantial community is tumblr - tumblr full of endless arguments and folks who just can not keep noses out and want to have all these fun new words without actually understand origins , then point accusatory fingers at original users for whatever .

unfortunately know very well kossai do not have skill set or patience to run something like this personally , otherwise just would at this point . not that anyone would use very much , evidently , but whatever .
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee posting in [community profile] pluralstories
"This would be the first time since I was a kid that I haven't bought a new console on day one..."

"STOP! You don't need to succumb to consumerism! You can always buy one in a year or two!"

"Psh, Nintendo? That shit's for babies. Go buy cigarettes."


Blurb: A man ponders buying a new Nintendo, only for his inner angel and demon to discover new feelings for each other.

Why is it worth your time?: It's cute, short, and free!

Plural Tags:abuse not mentioned, nonswitching, nonhumans (an angel and a devil), romantic relationships

Content Warnings: Beefcake. That's presumably what you're here for.

Access Notes: available on tumblr! Page 1, and page 2. Also backed-up on the Wayback Machine, but not screenreadable.
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee posting in [community profile] pluralstories
"ARTICLE III: The man going by the name Brother Francis is charged with claiming to have begun life miraculously, without father or mother, in the body of a boy about thirteen years of age."

Blurb: An epistolary short story about the fall and rise of Brother Francis/Leopold Graz, who in a post-nuclear apocalypse preached brotherhood and kindness: condemned, burned alive, and then beatified... at a cost.

Why is it worth your time?: Pangborn is a kind writer who tells the story of a boy, his invisible Companion who urges him to great things, and the major front switch that occurs when he is thirteen, which leads to his fall and rise under the pseudo-feudal fundamentalist church afterward. It's pretty good!

Plural Tags: abuse not mentioned, switching, serially singlet, spiritual voices, visions

Content Warnings: contain spoilers; see comments

Access Notes: Only officially available on paper, but anthologized multiple times; one of them, Still I Persist in Wondering, is screenreadable on archive.org. (Please ignore the pulpy cover.) Available in German and Italian.

bleugh

Jun. 15th, 2025 08:26 am
kossai: masculine form of kossai (Default)
[personal profile] kossai
well , did not get direct answer , or even see announcement of open , just seem to start share from others now . so ! guess now is post time . but eughhh . brain channel all that weird stress energy into dream that make feel so so sick .
great start to fun ... hope people will really like what have here ... ( shameless plug , thaliendir @ tumblr )

secret rules ???

Jun. 15th, 2025 02:04 am
kossai: masculine form of kossai (Default)
[personal profile] kossai
very excite for gala event this whole time , and was so ready to post right away , but then realise not actually sure about what is OK or not for things like this - like if digital art event start on 15th , is that some specific time on 15th , or is that just whenever personally read 15th , or if most timezones now reasonably 15th ? 

and then decide to ask , but of course might not even be awake right now because that also depend on timezone - so might be totally redundant to ask , but shit . do not want to get wrong and make bad impression or make hard event harder .

but also feel so bad to hold back posts because literally prepare all this for months and so now should be time ! and also this week is busy with real life shit , because everyone would say digital fantasy gala is hardly good reason to postpone obligations , and really want to get posts in order and upload so not worry about forget

but what if there is secret rule to this . bloody secret rules , have to wait to find out if any secret rules , and wait means not post yet . just want to have fun ! 

Trail Cooking Clean and Green

Jun. 14th, 2025 06:14 pm
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[personal profile] lb_lee
I finished textually transcribing and posted Ro and Joanna Piekarski's zine, Trail Cooking: Clean and Green, published in 1995 and seemingly impossible to find. I found it in a free box, and while the Piekarskis are apparently the kind of people who categorize raisins and unsweetened carob chips as "dessert," their thing about light, cheap, vegetarian backpacker food seemed like it shouldn't be totally lost to the void.

Check it out if that interests you!

yay !

Jun. 14th, 2025 04:06 pm
kossai: masculine form of kossai (Default)
[personal profile] kossai
website is ready for artfight !
at least hopefully , very fucking hopefully , nothing is broken !

can finally take some of these pictures down from dreamwidth . phew . will likely leave character masterposts up here , but unsure whether will update much in future .

visual thoughts ...

Jun. 14th, 2025 10:30 am
kossai: masculine form of kossai (Default)
[personal profile] kossai
mind wander into territory of japanese , chinese , and korean scripts , and how people romanise these .
kossai think very multi-sensory , with heavy visual components . words can be part of these visuals , so figure this would be neat highlight .

first start out simple . kossai know of hepburn romanisation for japanese , so this appear : konnichiwa - romaji .
as well , know of hanyu pinyin for chinese languages , so this appear next : nĭ hăo - pinyin .
kossai do not know much about chinese languages , and even less of korean . so at first , brain pop up with : annyeong haseyo - hangul .

but very quickly remember , no , hangul is name for how koreans write korean . so chart split off into two parts , and this take left side : 안녕하세요 - hangul .
and on right side of this entry , appear simple blurry blurb to indicate lack knowledge of name for romanisation system .
finally , japanese and chinese get respective entries on left side : こんにちは - kana/kanji & 你好 - hanzi .

so final thought chart look something like this :
chart which put all these elements together

of course , with internet at fingertips can look up answers no trouble ;D just think this is especially neat demonstration of thought language - when decide to post about this , even specifically think of dreamwidth post interface , then put this chart inside that post window . to serve as reminder of this post idea , kossai then scribble down this chart in very messy form .

so : no wonder kossai struggle with words , right ? have to wring mind through cheese cloth , turn these multi-sensory and highly visual thoughts into something human languages can communicate .

Comic: Kissing

Jun. 13th, 2025 08:42 pm
lb_lee: Rogan drawing/writing in a spiral. (art)
[personal profile] lb_lee
The winner of the fan poll, supported by fans like you on LiberaPay and Patreon!

Mori goes to Rawlin and says, 'Dunno if I like proper kissing. Can I give it a shot?' Rawlin chuckles placidly. 'Sure.' Mori leans in to kiss her, only for her eyes to go wide and her fur to involuntarily fluff. Not noticing, Mori pulls away. 'Hmm... still not sure... might need more trials... you?' Rawlin touches her lips with her gloved hand and just says, '...I like it.'

Killing God is a Skill Issue

Jun. 13th, 2025 08:14 pm
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[personal profile] lb_lee
Original posts by Phosphor of Hungry Ghosts here, used with permission: https://nightfeather.cafe/notice/AuOng8NknA7IRvgusi

A janky GIMP pen drawing of Mori shrugging. In her speech bubble is a post from Phosphor of Hungry Ghosts: "'that's like saying God should not treat his creations however he sees fit--' well, you see, if god was real I would simply kill him. skill issue."

A much sketchier drawing of Mori smirking dramatically, one hand to her chest, the other thrown out with a flame at one fingertip. She oversees a burning fire, and her speech bubble contains another Phosphor post: "maybe YOU can't kill god. but lbr. that's a you issue, my friend, not a me issue"

VAG MOMO

Jun. 12th, 2025 07:57 pm
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[personal profile] lb_lee
We were at the nearby Indian grocery store to stock up on yogurt (only they sell it in the giant quantities we require), when Biff noticed something new: enormous Ziploc bags filled with clearly-homemade momo (Nepalese dumplings). There are a few momo joints around here; maybe it's some sort of mysterious shadow kitchen thing?

Anyway, there were tons of these big gallon-size Ziploc bags, crammed full and tersely labeled in Sharpie as to their contents: (halal) BEEF, (halal) CHICKEN, and... VAG (veg).

It's Pride. We bought the VAG MOMO.

And guys, they were delicious. So flavorful! Cabbage, carrot, (probably?) chickpeas, onion, cilantro (we think), herbs and spices. We've bought bags of potstickers from the (southeast) Asian groceries around town, and they tended to be pretty bland. Nice, but bland, so we took to cooking them with sauces to flavor them up. But these? These packed all the flavor they needed. More support for the "ghost kitchen" idea.

They were expensive ($32), but they were so worth it. That bag will last us a long time; we spent half the bag feeding us and two roommates tonight, and we had leftovers, so that's an easy six meals' worth in one bag, a good treat item. And if I'm going to shell out for food, I'm happy to be giving it to my local Indian grocery and this mysterious momo chef!

Signs of Life, by Barbara Krasnoff

Jun. 12th, 2025 09:37 am
lb_lee: A colored pencil drawing of Raige's freckled hand holding a hot pink paperback entitled the Princess and Her Monster (book)
[personal profile] lb_lee
Hey guys! I read a great women’s sci-fi anthology from 1989 in the sci-fi library. It gave me a lot of new additions to [community profile] pluralstories, but one story that really stood out to me (and has no spirited/many-selved content at all) is Barbara Krasnoff’s "Signs of Life." It’s about sign language interpreters in a universe where the Deaf are overwhelmingly the space pilots. Krasnoff had some training in the field (though she didn’t end up entering it) and reading it made my hard-of-hearing ass very happy. I really wanted to share it with y’all, but the Visions and Memories anthology is long out of print and paper-only. Alack!

So I found Krasnoff online and asked about it, and she posted the story on her blog, so now I can share it with everyone! Hooray! Here it is: https://krasnoff.wordpress.com/signs-of-life/

That anthology was really ahead of its time, and I’m glad some of the stories are finding new life (and hopefully new audiences)! I hope y’all like it!

dream journal ~ fun hangout

Jun. 12th, 2025 08:01 am
kossai: masculine form of kossai (Default)
[personal profile] kossai
have dream in which specifically present mien - funny , usually either present seeming or individual envisages . this dream was about some kind of hangout for physical nonhumans , really pretty place , dark shiny wood . can not remember interactions , but that sure feel good . 

except that also wake with massive drool puddle on pillow . >_> 

more crisis plan thoughts

Jun. 11th, 2025 09:48 pm
kossai: masculine form of kossai (Default)
[personal profile] kossai
this one get to be public - lack of detail , and maybe help others in similar boat .
kossai find that numbers do not really work well in brain to express distress and crisis , for various reasons . still , interest in this topic revive as some folks who follow talk about this , and ... well , can be useful for anyone .

so rather than numbers , what have in mind so far is to break down each potential area of distress - say for example , age regression , psychosis , etc - and come up with lists of questions to identify state of mind , things that usually help , things that usually do not help , signs that might need external support , and other things to be aware of .

to be honest , kossai do not really have memory barriers or loss . however , want to write these things as if kossai do . that means explain what these things feel like , why these things happen , and why given solutions might work or not work . would like to hope nothing will ever screw up brain that badly , but life can happen anyway - better to have something in advance and never need than to flounder during fallout .

like many other things , this is obsidian vault on computer . would be good idea to have smaller printout version at some point , but need to actually get basic version done first before worry about simplify . :P

Thank you, kind stranger!

Jun. 11th, 2025 05:11 pm
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[personal profile] lb_lee
Rogan: so, today was rough, but a kind stranger made it much less bad than it could’ve been!

Read more... )

faerie joke ~ do not interact list

Jun. 11th, 2025 05:53 pm
kossai: feminine form of kossai (feminine ponder)
[personal profile] kossai
crosspost from tumblr .

do not interact !
  • liars
  • snobs who can not appreciate good wordplay
  • jerks who turn down gifts
  • unstylish weirdos who hang iron horseshoes as decor

and do not even think about boil eggshells around children , that is just gross behaviour :/


joke breakdown )

yay !

Jun. 10th, 2025 05:41 pm
kossai: feminine form of kossai (feminine ponder)
[personal profile] kossai
little craft supply bundle arrive today , specially curate and package as slow stitch supply kit . to be honest , actually kind of get happy tears ! just feel very sweet and special , seller tie up and position things so delicately . wish think to take picture before unwrap everything , oops . will feel kind of hard to use some of these things , as is crafter eternal struggle , but also can not wait to make pretty stuff .

feel like special princess ~
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee posting in [community profile] pluralstories
"Louisa, I love you. I'm the only one who has ever loved you. That's what you created me for."

Blurb: Jo March from Little Women gets into a fight with her author, Louisa May Alcott, about how her story will end. Who is writing our stories, and how do they trap or free us?

Why is it worth your time?: This play packs a punch! It hurt to read, but it is good. A lot of Gage's work is about the way we adapt to abuse and violence, how it gets into our heads.

Plural Tags: abuse high-focus, closeting, fictioneers, romantic relationships, nonswitching

Content Warnings: Incest! It's in the title! See comments for more.

Access Notes: Available on paperback and ebook. Also included in the collections The Second Coming of Joan of Arc and other plays (the 2004 HerBooks publication) and Nine Short Plays.
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