incorrecthorse

not like expect that forum to just disappear with literally no warning , so kossai did not mirror very much - not that there was much to mirror to start with , but still .

did mirror this post about fairytok , otherwise mostly things which already say before in some form , in hope to start discussions with others - how kossai define and experience mien and seeming , how faeriehood is intrinsic to all parts of identity , not necessarily new stuff . probably only thing which never really say elsewhere was some of little childhood experiences , which ... not really hard to rewrite , if so choose .

know other folks write more substantially , though . really hope forum copy was not only copy , because most parts of forum lock behind login wall - even if someone theoretically run forum through archival , that login wall would be lost .

well , did not get direct answer , or even see announcement of open , just seem to start share from others now . so ! guess now is post time . but eughhh . brain channel all that weird stress energy into dream that make feel so so sick .
great start to fun ... hope people will really like what have here ... ( shameless plug , thaliendir @ tumblr )

mind wander into territory of japanese , chinese , and korean scripts , and how people romanise these .
kossai think very multi-sensory , with heavy visual components . words can be part of these visuals , so figure this would be neat highlight .

first start out simple . kossai know of hepburn romanisation for japanese , so this appear : konnichiwa - romaji .
as well , know of hanyu pinyin for chinese languages , so this appear next : nĭ hăo - pinyin .
kossai do not know much about chinese languages , and even less of korean . so at first , brain pop up with : annyeong haseyo - hangul .

but very quickly remember , no , hangul is name for how koreans write korean . so chart split off into two parts , and this take left side : 안녕하세요 - hangul .
and on right side of this entry , appear simple blurry blurb to indicate lack knowledge of name for romanisation system .
finally , japanese and chinese get respective entries on left side : こんにちは - kana/kanji & 你好 - hanzi .

so final thought chart look something like this :


of course , with internet at fingertips can look up answers no trouble ;D just think this is especially neat demonstration of thought language - when decide to post about this , even specifically think of dreamwidth post interface , then put this chart inside that post window . to serve as reminder of this post idea , kossai then scribble down this chart in very messy form .

so : no wonder kossai struggle with words , right ? have to wring mind through cheese cloth , turn these multi-sensory and highly visual thoughts into something human languages can communicate .

this one get to be public - lack of detail , and maybe help others in similar boat .
kossai find that numbers do not really work well in brain to express distress and crisis , for various reasons . still , interest in this topic revive as some folks who follow talk about this , and ... well , can be useful for anyone .

so rather than numbers , what have in mind so far is to break down each potential area of distress - say for example , age regression , psychosis , etc - and come up with lists of questions to identify state of mind , things that usually help , things that usually do not help , signs that might need external support , and other things to be aware of .

to be honest , kossai do not really have memory barriers or loss . however , want to write these things as if kossai do . that means explain what these things feel like , why these things happen , and why given solutions might work or not work . would like to hope nothing will ever screw up brain that badly , but life can happen anyway - better to have something in advance and never need than to flounder during fallout .

like many other things , this is obsidian vault on computer . would be good idea to have smaller printout version at some point , but need to actually get basic version done first before worry about simplify . :P