Reading

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geekdom:tech

Where LB Goes For Fun On The Internet

"LB, you're not on social media, and you live like some weird austere godless monk. Do you even have fun on the Internet???"

Oh, don't worry, friends. We have fun on the Internet:

Archive.org (for old music, old multi stuff, old website research, weird niche research... what DON'T I use Archive.org for? Seriously probably the website we spend the most time on)
Archive of Our Own (for prose fiction and porn--most known for fanfic, but its tag system is so good that we sometimes trawl the original fic archive for stuff)
the Anarchist Library (what it sounds like)
Bandcamp (for new music--I have YET to figure out how the fuck iTunes works)
LotusPrince's Let's Plays (this is the only Youtuber I really watch anymore, been watching him for over ten years, he is a softspoken, straightfaced completionist who tries to be positive about every game he plays, no matter how clunky or goofy, and he is still my favorite parasocial companion for when I am so brainblasted I really can't handle anything more complicated than "go to the right, fight boss.")

We use an RSS reader to stay on top of blogs and artist accounts scattered across the ether, but if it can't be RSSed, then we don't bother. Lotus Prince is the only exception; he's a self-limiting, Gatorade activity, something I only want when I'm badly depleted, and once I recharge, I'm off to the races again, digging around in 1998 soulbonding websites on Archive.org.

I only play one game now, hack103 (and we use our local offline copy. Our shoulder only allows it on occasion, but fortunately, Hack is from 1985 and pre-poopsocking, so it's a very easy game to put down for years at a time and pick up again.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: tall shadows ~ ultima 9 redemption ost

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everyday: random thoughts

ego inflation humour

in teen years , kossai was more unstable and depressive , for various reasons . like plenty of other people , try to cope through humour - self-hate type of humour especially . but as people say , well , that just kind of prime brain to continue self-hate , especially when actually fuck something up .

hard to say there was really any one awakening for how kossai want to change attitudes , think was kind of just lucky to stumble on kindnesses and be in any shape to internalise those . and so ... start to shift . less about creative ways to hate and degrade , and more about totally inflate ego for kicks . like eighth wonder of world here , hello !

do kossai still have sometimes apparently-disproportionate reactions to mistakes and frustrations ? yeah . but generally much less fuel by self hate now , and more about root of problem - something that need to kick and scream about in moment , like threads that knot up and tangle mid-project , then cool down and reevaluate . and if mistake is something that will not be important by tomorrow ? can just laugh and brush off .

know these things not easy overnight fixes , especially if start off in worse position than kossai , but yeah , do think helpful .

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Giant by T Zysk/reapersun (romance comic, 2019)

"This is the strange life of my family. We are the likenesses of ancient figures, but we are not those people. We are only ourselves."

Blurb: Michelangelo's David and a street mural on the side of a donut shop fall in love. What is life to artwork, away from human eyes?

Why is it worth your time?: There are a bunch of works in this catalog about the independent life of fictional beings, but this is the only one I've found where the human creators/audience are completely not involved and the focus is on the statue and mural's relationship to EACH OTHER. The art is gorgeous, and it's short and free to read online; give it a shot!

Plural Tags: abuse not mentioned, otherworld, fictioneers (Michelangelo's David), romantic relationships

Content Warnings: contain spoilers; see comments

Access Notes: Not screenreadable. Available for free reading on bsky and pillowfort, or as a $10 ebook in the creator's Shorts Collection.

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Sister Mine, by Nalo Hopkinson (fantasy novel, 2013)

"I would hate it if people thought of me and Abby as one person split into two separate bodies"

"That's very human of you," Beji replied.

Blurb: Abby and Makeda were born conjoined, separated at birth by their demigod relatives at the cost of their human mother. Abby has mojo; Makeda has none, and that barrier between them has grown thicker and thicker. When their demigod father goes missing, however, Makeda will have to reconcile with her sister... and figure out her own gifts.

Why is it worth your time?: It's good! Where one self ends and another begins is a theme of this book--in Makeda and Abby's former conjoined state, in family and individual, in human and celestial. On top of all that, this story also takes place in a Caribbean culture of spirit possession!

Plural Tags: abuse low focus, identityblending, otherworld (the spirit world), nonhumans (spirits, mojo), family relationships, possession, spiritual

Content Warnings: contain spoilers; see comments

Access Notes: Available in hardback, paperback, ebook, and audiobook.

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Come Tumbling Down, by Seanan McGuire (2019, fantasy novella)

"That was her true gift to them: she taught them how to keep hoping in the face of the world that told them their memories were delusions, their lived experiences were lies, and there dreams were never going to come true. Perhaps that was her secret for engendering loyalty in a student body that was otherwise disinclined to trust adults, listen to them, or answer when they called. She believed."

Blurb: Jack and Jill were twins sent to a Gothic mad science world, and when they got kicked out, they came to Eleanor West's Home for Wayward Children until they could return. Now Jack's back again, having been bodyjacked by Jill; can she get her own body back, save her twice-dead mentor, and keep her undead girlfriend going? Lucky for her, she has other wayward child heroes to help her...

Why is it worth your time?: The Wayward Children series is a weird edge case; many a gateway system, fictionkin, or walk-in can sympathize with the longing to return to a world very unlike this one, and McGuire expresses that longing and need beautifully. It also has one of the best depictions of body dissonance I've ever seen; Jack and Jill might be identical twins, but their bodies are NOT the same, and Jack KNOWS it. The whole series may be well worth a look, though even Come Tumbling Down doesn't exactly have bodySHARING, just bodyswapping and theft.

Plural Tags: abuse intermediate focus, bodyhopping, otherworld, enmity, setting-specific

Content Warnings: contain spoilers; see comments

Access Notes: Available in hardback, paperback, audiobook, and ebook.

Misc Notes: Though Come Tumbling Down is #5 in this series, if you only want the Jack and Jill books, you can read #1 (Every Heart a Doorway) and #2 (Down Among the Sticks and Bones). Honestly, I would've preferred to have read #2 first. If you want those books, #1 is available in Hebrew, Portuguese, and German, while #2 is available in German and Portuguese.

Current Mood: sore
Current Music: hither; the feywild ~ marty mcglovin

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everyday: dream journal

dream journal ~ seizure ?

that sure was … weird ?

have this dream about somehow witness divine birth of sheogorath . that was not full thing , to be fair , but that was last thing which remember before wake up .

at 6 am , way too early .

daggerfall form
definitely lean on theory of lorkhan's divine spark / sithis-shaped hole
except actually do not understand lorkhan or sithis so … who can really be sure ?

great job , brain :P

should also say : this appear as really bright flash , almost kind of have trouble remember at this point , and suddenly wake up not long after . this only ever happen once before , and that was sleep seizure - long time ago now , but happen during really painful sleep , and sure tick off that pain box through whole spine . nothing was comfortable , and still not comfortable .

do also feel little bit of headache and sluggishness , which is overall consistent , just on milder level here . unfortunately do sleep alone , so have no idea how look from outside . so maybe this was another sleep seizure , trigger by intense pain and discomfort - pain is not usually trigger alone , but can absolutely provoke if already on edge .

in that case : haha , brain , very funny to choose sheogorath . that might also explain why explanation feel so nonsensical and weird .

Current Mood: artistic
Current Music: erana's pool ~ quest for glory iii ost

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mid-artfight reflection

genuinely , to some extent feel like something is different about artfight art this year - worse , even . but then step back and realise , last year kossai did 22 attacks in total , through whole month - and first day specifically was 4 attacks , so more like 19 days of art .

this year , by july 12 , already up to 17 attacks ... with one in progress right now , too . some days have none , but others have 2 or even 3 pieces . balance is completely different from last year - only have so much time to draw , so when migraine take out this day or that day , really want to make up and still get ideas done .

so while not try to rush and churn out production , fact is that when so many things inspire - and when also have to take into account revenges this year ! - will not be able to focus on each one quite as much .
( of course revenge is not literal obligation , however , kossai have faerie's honour and want to give fair shake . )

besides that , there is honestly stuff which do better this year in comparison to last year . was never totally proud of how fat faces look , so make conscious effort to work on that , and now think alright . just need to balance time and expectations better .